Today was a hard day, wasn't it? Another friend on Facebook shared that they are expecting. You went to the grocery store and every woman you passed either was pregnant or had a child/children. You turned on the TV and "19 Kids and Counting" was on. You change the channel and its "Teen Mom". Your whole world is just surrounded by the one thing you want most. Everywhere you look, it's just baby baby baby.
If you're like me, you dread going on social media during the holidays because you know that's when all the cute pregnancy announcements are going to happen. You like your 17th picture of an ultrasound with a Santa hat, and wish them a quick "congrats" in the comments, while you secretly are trying not to cry.
Dear woman, you are not alone. I have walked where you are walking. I have hurt in all the same ways you are hurting. Sadly, I continue to know this pain all too well. I know how hard it is to see people "accidently" get pregnant and question "why them and not me? I'm trying so hard, and they weren't and yet they get the one thing I'd do anything for." Don't beat yourself up over this. Every child is a miracle, whether you and I can see that or not. The woman who is in an abusive situation pregnant with her 6th child and lives off of food stamps might not think their child is a miracle because it "just happened" but that child is. And our children, which may take years to come, will be just as much of a miracle as theirs are.
I wish someone had told me when I got married that getting pregnant doesn't just happen. Sometimes it does, but most of the time it doesn't. If you were lucky enough to get pregnant your first month trying, or on your honeymoon, I hope you realize how lucky you are. For me, I didn't know this, but it was unrealistic. It wasn't until I was married a year that I even knew something was wrong. I knew you were suppose to have 28 day cycles, but when you're in college and only having 4 periods a year, that didn't sound so bad. I could have had a diagnosis 5 years ago, but didn't go to the doctors. I also had doctors for 2 years tell me it was just stress from planning a wedding, moving, work, etc.
Ladies, please, if you are having irregular periods, please please please see your doctor. Finding out early makes this all easier because when the time does come to try and have a baby, you'll know up front, not a year into it.
If you are struggling with infertility, PCOS, anything, I really sincerely want you to know that I am here for you to talk whenever you need someone to just cry to. If you need someone who just gets it, I'm just a message/text/phone call away. You are not alone.
To the Man behind the Woman,
Men, you have no idea what your support means to your woman. We know that you have no idea what we're talking about half the time. We know that you really don't want to hear all the details of the first 5-10 days of our cycle. But you listen. You listen with open ears and open hearts and just let us talk.
PCOS is so hard on us women, and having a strong leader in the home makes going through it that much better. Knowing that after we see that pregnancy announcement, or getting that phone call from a relative, that you are there with open arms to just hold us and say "we'll have our miracle" is what we need.
I have no way of thanking you men for all you do for us. The little things. The words of encouragement. The reminder that God is still working on us and loves us even when we can't see it is exactly why God put you men in our lives. It takes a strong woman to go through PCOS, but an even stronger man to stand beside her and fight with her.
Ladies and Gents, I hope you're encouraged today, and I leave you with this
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7
God bless you this day and everyday!
Amanda
I just got a friend request from your mother-in-law. I used to work with Mike when he was at Aramark. I was looking at Christine's pictures and saw Mike and you and then I started looking at your FB page. I am not a stalking. I love Mike when I worked with him. He is a wonderful man. Anyway, I saw your blog and I think its very brave of you to have it. I wanted to share something with you. I am 55 now and when I tried to get pregnant with my first child (now 31) it took me 4 years. I didn't know anything about infertility. I had my uterus scraped to find out if I was ovulating. That is how they did it then. (talk about painful) and then my doctor put me on clomid. I was pregnant a week later. I was one of the lucky ones. Now, fast forward to 2015-16. BOTH of my daughters have been trying for a child. My oldest for 2 years now. She is not under a doctor's care though. She is just trying and putting it in God's hands. My youngest, Casey, went to the doctor in September after a year of trying on her own. The doctor put her on Metformin which you may know is a drug that people with diabetes take. It is suppose to make your body start ovulating on its on. She started with 500 mg and will be taking 1500 mg by the end of March. If this doesn't work she'll go on the Clomid. She is getting frustrated as well. I wanted to share this story with you because my heart went out to you. I wish you all the best. And your blog is a wonderful thing. It can help so many. God Bless
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Diana for your kind words. It really can be frustrating. We took a month off of the clomid to put it all into God's hands and just let him do his work, and we pretty quickly realized that medicine, for us, is part of God's plan. The hardest thing for me is truly believing that God can do this. I know that we serve an awesome God who can do anything, but it's really hard to actually live that out. That's my prayer everyday is to just wake up and believe that anything is possible with God. <3
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