Faith

Good morning from a very cold New Hampshire. When I left for work today it was 7 degrees out. I am not a fan of the cold, especially when it's THAT cold. But yet here I am, at work, processing checks and printing out reports for clients, with the sweet sound of instrumental versions of some of my favorite Christian songs play in the background. As I'm chatting with a few friends, I realize that I just need to write. Today, as much as I love my readers, this writing is for me.

 

This hasn't been the easiest of weeks. I found out before Christmas that a guy from my old church had passed away. I am still pretty numb to it. He helped with the drama shows that my mom participated in every year for 10 years. He had a son. He had a life. It really does show that you never know when your last day, or someone else's last day, could be. I don't want to say live each day like it's your last, because if we all did that, well then we'd never work, and we'd all be at Disney World right now. But I will say this. Don't stop living your life.

 

I know we all have our days/weeks/months/years where we just feel down. I know I have those days a lot. Days where I just feel defeated. Days where I'm not living my life. I'm going to work, doing my desk job, coming home, watching TV, then going to bed. I'm not trying to be mean or offensive, but what kind of life is that? I know on those days when I just do my "regular routine" they can be some of my hardest emotional days. Just laying on the couch watching reality shows for hours isn't how I want to be remembered. I want to be remembered as the woman who went out and did something. The woman who was active physically and spiritually.

 

What am I going to do TODAY that starts my path of a life worth remembering? Well, for starters, as much as I'd love to go home and finish the last few episodes I have left in Gilmore Girls, I think I'll go and read. Read my bible, read my Laura Story book, read my Brant Hansen book. Maybe I'll plug in a relaxing playlist on spotify and just pray. Or do some yoga. Or exercise. Yes, I just said I might go home and exercise. I know. Crazy.

 

So where is all this coming from you might ask? Well, I was on new medicine last Tuesday-Saturday and let me tell you, it's been messing with my emotions. I am on cycle day 96 and hopefully this medicine is going to get me back to day 1 and back on clomid! I have been feeling kind of crummy today physically so I'm hoping that the medicine is working! But being pumped with medicines really can get me emotional, as many of you probably know from knowing me in real life. Hormones being put into your body that aren't normally there definitely can make you emotional. And the clomid that I'll hopefully start taking this week will be no different.

 

As 2016 is starting, I knew I needed to do something different this year. I needed to keep my eyes fixed on God. But how? In a world with such negativity, in my own selfish mind, how was I going to be able to focus less on myself, my worries, my desires, and focus on Christ?

 

Faith

This year, I have chosen to have a word. A word to focus on and try to find every day of the year. I have a friend who for the past few years has found a new word to focus on each year, and because I'm a copy cat, I'm doing the same. That's where faith comes in. What word could be more fitting to focus on and to find in my daily life for 2016?  Let me give you a few reasons as to why I chose faith.

 

-Mark 10:52" "Go," said Jesus, "your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road."

 If a blind man can have faith in someone he can not see to give him sight, than surely I can trust in God, whom I can not physically see, to give me sight, that is to see him. But also in the physical sense, this man who was blind his whole life had faith in Jesus and was given the ability to see. Surely if my faith is in Christ and not of this world, my faith can heal me as well.

 

-Matthew 17:20 "He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.""
How crazy is this to think of? Do we really have so much as a mustard seed of faith to call upon Christ? We aren't to test God and say "well if you're real than do this" but we are told to have such faith in him that we can confidently say to a mountain "move" and it will. That mountain for me, is getting pregnant. I should have such faith in God that I can say, I will get pregnant this year. But then doubt and fear comes trickling in, and Satan just tries his hardest to hold his grip on me. 2016 is the year I stop letting fear stand in my way of saying "Hey, see that mountain? I'm going to move it with God by my side!"

 

-Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see"

This pretty much wraps up the Mark 10 and Matthew 17 verses into one very short and precise verse. I have loved this verse for a long time. It is the verse that is on the front of my bible holder. I see it every day. And yet it's taken me 3 years to really listen to the words and understand what it's saying. We need faith to be confident. We need faith to help assure ourselves of the things we can't see. I need this faith when it comes to every aspect of my day, and really, of my life.

 

For years I have wanted to get a tattoo that says "With Faith Comes Hope" and just haven't found the time to get one, haven't had the money, or have second guessed where I would get it or if I really wanted it to begin with. I think that 2016 is the year I'm going to get it. I have been wanted to get it with a daffodil, but that might change. If you recall one of my original posts about the Thrive tree from Casting Crowns, I think that tree really could look nice with "With Faith Comes Hope" but we'll see. But this is the year I get it. This is the year that I have faith so strong that nothing can stop me, and that God will provide. Not because he has to, but because he loves me, and I know he wants to!

 

Have a blessed day, and a faithful 2016!

Amanda