The past 2 Thanksgivings I've said so many different things. 2014 I was just thankful for my amazing husband (and still am every day!). We were young (still are) and in love (still are) and were just full of hope to start a family! I remember my mom crying, as she does most years on Thanksgiving, saying how thankful she was for our family and that I had finally found the love of my life to share forever with.
2015 was a harder year. I really was struggling with what I was thankful for. If I had thought about the 365 days prior, I could have thought of a million things. The many vacations we took across the country, new friendships made, new jobs had. Heck, my best friend was going to the hospital in labor as we said these prayers! But all I could think about was how I had been trying for a baby for a year and a half, had been diagnosed with PCOS, the 4 rounds of clomid we had done didn't work, and that we currently were on a "medical break" (aka we wouldn't be getting pregnant until we started up medicine again). I cried. I'm pretty sure my thankful list was short and to the point. "I'm thankful for my family who is my support through it all."
Looking ahead to 8 days from now, Thanksgiving 2016, of course there are a million things I am thankful for. Isn't it funny how when we're on top of the world and our prayers have been answered all of the bad stuff just goes away and all we can see if the good? I don't see the subchorionic hemorrhage that made me fear for my babies life. I don't see the weeks upon weeks upon weeks of nausea that surrounded me most of the summer. I don't see the beginning of 2016 that shattered me with 2 more failed rounds of medicine that meant I would have to go to a specialist.
No, I'm only seeing the good. The trip to Disney World in April. Moving into the bigger apartment. Finding the fertility doctor that on our first IUI got us pregnant. Going to our first ultrasound seeing that little heart beat. Finding out that little nugget is a boy. Having finally all of the things I've dreamed of.
But then I stop. And I really think. And I'm almost more thankful for the hemorrhage than the first ultrasound of little man. I'm ALMOST more thankful for the failed rounds of Clomid over the past year than I was to go to Disney. Because through those hard moments, the painful, emotional, gut wrenching moments, I've survived. I've come to another day of Thanksgiving, and I'm here.
So this year, I'm thankful for it all. Every single day since last Thanksgiving. From meeting my niece on Black Friday evening when she was 12 hours old, all the way through the 365 days that carried just about every emotion imaginable. Through it all, it is well. All of those moments have led me to today, November 16th, 2016, as I sit in my office drinking Orange Juice because little nugget craves it now (and kicks like a maniac after I have just a sip). Would I have wanted to be pregnant the day we got married? Of course. But that's not how God works sometimes, and I wouldn't trade my story for anything.
So this Thanksgiving season, what are the moments you are thankful for that you never thought you would be?
Xoxo
Amanda and Bump
