In the first year, I had a lot of questions answered, whether by trial and error, advice from friends, the internet, the doctor, random strangers at Target. You name it. I wanted to share some of the things I've learned, the questions I've had (and some answers), and just kind of see where this post goes, so hang in there!
Questions I Had
Is He Eating Enough?
I'm pretty sure every mama asks this questions a million times in the first year. When we were starting nursing and were having trouble, I asked this a LOT. He grew, and so I stopped asking for a while, but now that he's older and nursing less often and eating more solids, I come to ask myself "is he eating enough solids?" "Has he had enough milk today?" It's so hard to tell if he's "had enough" especially with breast feeding when you don't know if he's drank an oz, 5 oz, nothing. But you have to trust your body, and trust your instinct. If you don't think your baby had had enough (milk food or otherwise) offer a little more! JP is VERY good at now telling me that he's all done with dinner (aka throwing food everywhere and screaming at me!). You know your child best.
Is he doing everything that a ____ month/year old should do?
I was so worried in the beginning friends. Especially when he was under 6 months and wasn't rolling around and all his friends at school who were younger than him were, I was nervous. I thought "am I not doing enough to encourage him?" But then one day out of nowhere, he rolled. Same thing happened at 8 months with crawling. He showed so many signs of crawling and just hadn't yet. And then all of a sudden, he started. And by 10.5 months he was walking. Every child is different.
Let me repeat that.
EVERY. CHILD. IS. DIFFERENT.
JP is over a year and still doesn't sleep through the night, and I know MANY people who's children were sleeping through the night at 3 months old or even less. It doesn't mean there's anything right or wrong with either child. It just means that they sleep through the night and you don't. JP is a big boy and still nurses at night (maybe he's big because he nurses at night, but maybe he nurses at night because he's big and needs to eat more often). I have a friend who's child is 6 days younger than JP, has been sleeping through the night for a LONG time, but they just learned how to pull themselves up, while JP has been doing that for 6 months. Every child is different, and even though your app, your childs teacher, your doctor, whoever, says they should be doing something by a particular time, they may do them early, they may take a bit longer. Until a doctor brings up concerns, try not to worry!
Am I a bad Mom for ____?
First of all, I don't care what you fill in the blank there. YOU'RE NOT A BAD MOM. YOU'RE AMAZING!!! You have a tiny human to take care of and it gets stressful! Am I a bad mom for going to the bathroom and scrolling through Instagram for a few minutes while he plays with his Daddy? NO. Am I a bad mom for giving JP chocolate cheerios for a snack instead of organically grown, no HMO, gluten free, sugar free, non fat, crackers? NO. Am I a bad mom for going to work and sending him to daycare instead of staying home with him? NO. Am I a bad mom for letting him cosleep? NO. Am I a bad mom for letting him stay in his pajama's all day when he's sick? NO
You're not a bad mom. You're doing everything you can to make a tiny human happy. You're trying to keep yourself together, and your child, and your family, and it's stressful! But, you're not a bad mom! It's so easy to feel like it in the middle of things. It's easy to see other moms who are all done up with makeup on and their hair curled and a super awesome outfit on, and look at yourself and realize you haven't worn makeup in a month, you haven't showered in 3 days, and you're wearing a baggy tshirt because it's easier to nurse in. But we're all in this together mama's! We're all at different places, and we're all surviving!
What Next?
As I was writing this post, I had a lot of other ideas popping into my head. These questions I listed were the big life moment questions, but I have SO much more "advice from a new mom" that I want to share with others. I know that I can't be the only mom who is overwhelmed by it all. By all the emotions; all the STUFF. So be on the look out for a new mini series coming to the blog soon!
Xoxo
Amanda
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| Awkward Family Photo from Easter |
