It's pretty amazing. I can't wait to go out after work today and take pictures with my mom and she's going snap a few of me so hopefully they'll come out good!
Work has been going really well. I am loving learning more about the stock market, and about some of the things my boss does for his clients! I have learned a lot of things for the job in a surprisingly quick timeframe. And my boss and I get along really well so that's just a big bonus!
Mike and I are doing great! Since I've started this new job, I actually see my husband more than one night a week. That's not something that should have been happening anyways, but working in food service, you have to close your restaurant. And he works 930-615 so if I closed (which lets be honest over the summer I closed more often than not) he was already asleep. So now that I'm out at 3 and he's home at 630, things have been amazing. We eat dinner together, watch a movie, are able to go to small group, you know, things normal married couples do and take for granted. Switching jobs has been probably the best decision I've made in a long time!
Getting pregnant is hard! We're going on 19 months of trying to get pregnant, and still nothing. This cycle I decided NOT to take the Clomid, and that was the worst idea ever. When I was on the Clomid the past 4 months, everything has been on time. 31 days on the dot. Today is day 34, and I'm not even sure if I ovulated yet. So of course, I'm kicking myself for not taking it this month, but I needed a break. It was making me so emotional, so anxious, and SO HOT. I couldn't start a new job on that kind of mind set!
Looking back at a year ago, it's so crazy to think about what I wanted my life to look like. I wanted to be a mom. I wanted our family to grow. I wanted to have cravings, to puke 5 times a day for months, to go through the pain of child birth. I wanted every horrible moment of it, because I wanted a beautiful child. And a year later, I'm still that woman. I still want that baby. And I've seen so many people get pregnant and have babies in the year and a half we've been trying. I kept screaming When is it my turn God?!?
In the past 6 months I've really learned that I can't control this as much as I want to. My body isn't going to let me. And I've accepted that it will take a while to get pregnant. I've accepted that my body isn't ready for a baby yet. I've accepted that it is all in God's timing.
As I was scrolling through my facebook feed today, I came across a quote I wanted to share with you guys today.
"Sometimes our greatest disappointments today will set us up for God's best appointments tomorrow."
Oh I love this so much. This is what I'm going through. This is my heart.
The other thing I wanted to share was a song. I first heard this song at the church I went to in Maine for 3 years. The youth pastors wife sang this as a special music one week and I just thought it was beautiful. When I reheard the song today, I realized the song was written for me. The song is called "To Those Who Wait" by Bethany Dillon. I love the whole song, but this particular lyric just pops out at me every time I hear the song.
Oh, wretched man that I am!
Free me from my distractions.
You say You’re good to those who wait.
Free me from my distractions.
You say You’re good to those who wait.
I guess that's really all for today. This wasn't really a one topic post and I'm sorry about that, but as the title said, I'm really scattered today!
A verse to keep with you today.
"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." - Galatians 1:10
Blessings
Amanda
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