But something after that switched. I just felt off. Mike and I went grocery shopping, I went to two stores looking for "Not Your Father's Rootbeer" and it was down pouring the whole time. And al I could think of was the song "Open Up the Heavens" by Vertical Church. And the lyrics saying "open up the Heavens, we wanna see you. Open up the floodgates, a mighty river. Flowing from your heart, filling every part of our praise" and I just kept singing that over and over and over. I finally turned the song on and listened to the bridge. "Show us, show us your glory. Show us, show us your power. Show us, show us your glory lord!" And I just had that as my prayer. On this dark rainy day when the Clomid was starting to bring out emotions I don't like, those dark sad and emotional emotions, I just wanted to see his glory and power. I go into the 3rd grocery store, find my item, and as I leave the store for some reason I looked up to the sky with this song still stuck in my head (since the heavens were certainly opening up with all the rain) and there was the biggest and brightest full arch rainbow throughout half the sky! And it was the most beautiful rainbow I've ever seen. 
But what made it more beautiful? The second rainbow above it. It was faint but it was there. I can't start to describe the joy in my heart that things are going to be ok. With my anxiety. With my infertility. With our bills. With my life. Things are going to be ok. The sun keeps coming our. The SON will keep appearing. God is here, he is actively watching, giving his wisdom, and reminding me that the things of this world that cause me so much pain are only temporary. One day (hopefully soon) I won't be crying every time I have a negative pregnancy test. I don't have to take this medicine any more to help us have children that makes my emotions out of wack. I don't have to worry forever that I'll never pay off my student loans. Only a season. Only a season.
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